Shame and Guilt

If your using has reached the point that you needed help to deal with the problem, chances are you came into recovery with a lot of negative baggage from your past. In fact, addicts usually experience feelings of both shame and guilt over their behavior even while in their active addiction.

In early recover, it is important that you deal with your feelings of guilt, shame, and the corresponding lack of self-esteem. Allowing these feelings to fester can easily drive you back to using to escape the pain.

What are Shame and Guilt?

Shame is having negative beliefs about yourself and your self-worth. Guilt is having negative feelings about your behavior. Many alcoholics and addicts feel ashamed for having become addicted in the first place. Some feel that they are weak, worthless and not deserving of recovery.

Many have lied and cheated to continue their addictive behavior. Some have committed immoral or illegal acts, such a stealing or prostitution, in order to get money for drugs. They may have emotionally damaged friends and love ones. They regret things they have lost, such as jobs, homes and families.

A Vicious Cycle

Research shows that if steps are not taken by alcoholics and addicts to deal with these negative feelings, they may return to their addictive behavior in order to temporarily relieve the pain, or they will use again to hurt or punish themselves for their past behavior.

Then, because they feel shame and guilt about drinking or using drugs again, they use even more to escape that shame, creating a vicious addictive cycle and downward spiral into further addictive behavior.

Positive Change

Changing these negative personality traits can be a pivotal part of the recovery process. Although some of them may have developed as a result of our addictive behavior, some of them may have existed previously and contributed to the development of the addictive behavior in the first place.

As newly recovered individuals, we need to talk about any feelings of shame and guilt. We need to learn that getting high is not true relief, but actually contributes to these painful feelings. Healthy, honest living is the only way to restore self-esteem and self-respect.